family connections

I talked to my dad and brother and Uncle Eddie and B. today, all of them wishing me a happy birthday. Somehow this made me feel worse, not better, and by the end of every phone call I was in tears. Probably because I miss everyone so much, seeing and hugging them and being able to make each other laugh in person. My brother offered me a place to live should I need one, but I don’t know how I’d feel about going back to Texas to live with the person I always promised to take care of when we were growing up in such chaos. It’s humbling, if not humiliating, to think that all the hard work I’ve done and education and experience I’ve accumulated over the past 22 years might still mean I end up in a spare bedroom of my younger brother in Dallas, Texas, the last place in the world I thought I’d end up at this stage of my life. I suppose I’ll cross that bridge when it comes. I hope it doesn’t.


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