fifth tuesday, new york city

Thursday marked four weeks since I moved to NYC, and I suppose it feels it’s been about that long. Things are becoming more routine. I’ve been less hard on myself, thinking less that I need to have things figured out immediately that others take months or years to find fall into place.

It’s little things, like going to free trivia nights and just opening up a tiny bit to conversations and having fun even if it’s sitting next to someone I don’t want to be my BFF. Or signing up for a bookclub or filling up my first frequent-drinker card at the coffee shop (where they know my order, already).

I miss my kids terribly. Last weekend was the first I went back to visit, and there are definitely kinks to work out. Like not scheduling a job interview for Monday morning and eating into my time with the kids to attend to preparations for that. Or not trying to do too much on any particular day. The kids and I really just want to hang out and see each other, spend time as a jagged little family unit. Future visits will keep that in mind.

Still no job. I did meet someone who works retail at trivia night yesterday; she told me to use her name when applying. I’ll go for it, not because I want to work retail but because it’s what I’m willing to do. It is what it is.

I did work hosting a speed-dating event tonight, which was fun despite the quirks of some of the participants. But we all have quirks, and the same person I find annoying might be someone else’s Romeo. Or vice versa. I’m contemplating speed-dating myself on Friday, if I can spare the funds.

Basically, it’s all just a mishmash right now. A day at a time, just shining a light on the next step on the staircase, not knowing where it leads. I need to remember that thousands of people (probably more) dream of moving here every day, and the fact that I up and did it is an accomplishment in itself. It also takes time to settle in, to find a niche, and it’s true whether you move to a one-stoplight town or the biggest city you can imagine. I suppose it’s easier in smaller towns, but no matter. There’s a learning curve everywhere, even if it’s only a state of perspective.