old (2010), Uncategorized

11 things

December 11 – 11 Things. What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? (Author: Sam Davidson)

1. My small apartment.

I’ll be moving in April, and I’ll do so by taking the necessary steps and actions, even though I’m terrified by the prospect. It will change my life by teaching me I can do something that’s scary and dissemble something I’ve worked hard at building without my soul falling apart. I’ll also be able to better enjoy my time with the boys, since we won’t be smooshed into a one-bedroom apartment on the weekends.

2. Artwork without a story.
While I have a lot of artwork in my apartment that’s original, some isn’t, and it bothers me. I feel it diminishes the uniqueness of my living space. I do have a very few prints and posters that obviously aren’t originals, but they have stories behind them. By getting rid of cookie-cutter artwork, I’ll more fully create a space that is mine and more fully inhabit it.

3. Dishes and kitchenware I don’t use. 
I have a lot of things in the kitchen that simply don’t get used. Whether I’ve purchased them while thrifting because they’re a good deal or just outgrown them, I’m sure other people can make better use. By getting rid of these things, I’ll be more organized and efficient in the kitchen. Or so I hope/keep telling myself.

4. Unwanted/unread email.
I get a lot of email that inspires an immediate click of the Delete button. This doesn’t take long, but even one hundred clicks of the Delete button in a day can build up to a lot of time over a year. By unsubscribing myself from dozens of websites’ email lists (and other marketing lists and newsletters, etc.) as well as setting up spam filters and other methods I’ll be able to free up my time and reclaim my “in” box.

5. Celibacy Singleton status. 
Okay, this one is somewhat out of my control. And as I get older I don’t have any interest in having casual sex, which is why “Celibacy” is crossed out and “Singleton status” is written in. I’ve already taken some steps here, in signing up for a paid online dating service and actually sending as well as answering emails there. It’s somewhat of a crapshoot, but that’s okay. I’m taking steps, and with any luck (and a lot of grace), by the end of 2011, this is something of which I’ll rid myself. As for how it will change my life? I think I’ll feel a little more confident, and definitely less washed-up and worn-out. It might also allow me to grieve Jack if not less, at least differently.

6. Unemployment. 
It’s been 20 months since I’ve had a full-time job, more than a year since my health insurance bid adieu. I don’t know if I’ll get into graduate school or find a job or a combination of the two, but by the end of 2011, I hope to be involved in some sort of enterprise on a full-time basis and off of the unemployment rolls. As to how this will change my life? I’ll be less anxious about whether I’ll survive until the next unemployment check and whether it will even be there (given routine snafus).

7. My bedroom furniture. 
Of all the furniture I have, the bedroom stuff is the worst. It’s a mishmash of things I’ve gotten from Freecycle or picked out of alleys or (worse) things used Not As Intended (my “tv stand” is a tray table). When I move, I’m selling it, and I’m getting (preferably off of Craigslist or Freecycle) an actual matching set that I love and adore and want to keep until the end of my days. This will change my life by turning my bedroom into more of a sanctuary and less as a run-off drain for the rest of my apartment.

8. My bookcases. 
Also something I’ll sell when I move, my bookcases have got to go. While I like them, they are modernist from Ikea (grey and steel colors), and my apartment is NOT like that, at all. By getting rid of them and finding a set (yes, a set!) of sturdy and long-lasting and loveable (and, I hope, used and therefore environmentally responsible) book cases, I will bring more cohesiveness to my apartment and, therefore, my life.

9. My plants. 
I only have two plants — an aloe and a cactus — but they have to go. They look lonely and deprived (and they probably are, even the cactus), and they would be much better off in someone else’s home. Getting rid of them will mean less anxiety that I can’t even take care of plants and that I’ve finally come to terms with this deficiency.

10. Clutter. 
Again, when I move… it’s going to be cleaning time. Big-time cleaning time. Like, “starting in February when I’m moving at the end of April” cleaning time. I can only imagine how this will make my life better — I’ve been carrying around so much crap for so long, it will be a weight off my shoulders. I’ll be selling or throwing away everything that I don’t use, don’t need, or don’t want. Now, preventing it from coming back? That may be a task for 2012…

11. Regret, remorse, resentment.
I know I’ve already undertaken this, but in 2011 I’ll be completing my second 4th step with my sponsor, and I hope to let go of things that have stubbornly stayed with me despite my (somewhat great but not best) effort. Without these lingering feelings, I hope to be, as they say, happy, joyous, and free. Or at least happier, more joyous, and freer than I am now.