old (2010), Uncategorized

wonder

December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)

How does one cultivate wonder? This was my first thought upon reading the prompt. I looked to the Google dictionary for help, and two definitions seemed apropos:

5. Try to acquire or develop (a quality, sentiment, or skill)
7. Apply oneself to improving or developing (one’s mind or manners)

So, then, have I tried to acquire or develop wonder? Or have I applied myself to improving or developing wonder? Honestly, I don’t know that I have. Or that I’ve had the spiritual space to do so.

Much of the past year has been spent treading water. The majority of it has seen me grieving (in one form or another), unemployed, and struggling with relationships. To be sure, the last few weeks I have been better, happier, even content. Where wonder comes into play is questionable.

But here is what I thought of when I read the definitions: I have tried to see past the grief and take comfort and solace in beautiful or peaceful or simple things. Whether this has been taking photographs of trees in winter (the leafless trees appeal to me, and they look beautiful in black and white photos) or making a snow angel with B in February or skipping down the street instead of walking… I’ve made an attempt. I’ve picked myself back up when I felt like staying down forever, and I think that means something. I’ve tried when I’ve felt like failing on purpose. I don’t know if it counts, necessarily, but it just has to be enough, at least this year.

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