I’m participating in Reverb 10 to reflect upon my life — and figure out what comes next — during the month of December. Today’s prompt is December 1 – One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)
The word for 2010 would have to be “tumultuous.” Only three weeks into 2010, Jack died…and my world turned upside down. As the year ends, I’m not sure it’s been righted. There have been moments in which I’ve felt such extreme joy and peacefulness followed my moments in which my deepest griefs come to light. It has felt much like a roller coaster — fear and uncertainty and lulls and relief, over and over. I know it will end, and at some point I’ll get off this ride — or, at the least, I will get on increasingly less scary rides — and in that I have extreme and enduring faith. So maybe the word for 2010 would be “faith,” or somesuch decision. But, no, “tumultuous” works just fine.
I hope 2011 will be the opposite of “tumultuous” — whatever that may be. Peace? Contentedness? An even keel? Maybe I hope I can learn how to handle the roller coaster without my stomach dropping out when each dip begins. Most of all, I hope I can continue to learn how to live without Jack in the world. But there isn’t really a word for that, is there?