old (2010), Uncategorized

well, damn

Remember how I was saying that the crying was difficult? I learned the hard way, this afternoon, that bottling things up ain’t no way to live, when I started crying in my boss’ boss’ office over pretty much nothing. Now, hours later, I feel flu-ish, as though I’m coming down with a bug. But that’s just what grief feels like. It’s an alien, an invader, a parasite, shifting shapes and changing forms and attacking me when I least expect (or want) to pay it attention.

And, yet: I cried today, and I’ll cry more before I sleep. The tears will come whether I want them to or not, it seems, and so it appears it would be best to let them run their course. Otherwise, I’ll owe another big apology to people at work, and this time around was embarrassing enough for now.