life on life’s terms

Rebuilding trust has to be the most difficult thing to do in a relationship, moreso when you’re the one who’s been betrayed. I had a nightmare last night, waking up in a pool of sweat… and it wasn’t anything horrible, just that JS had relapsed again, leaving me stranded without a car and having to be somewhere important on time. I suppose this is the natural thing to happen when trust disintegrates in a relationship… and only time and patience can bring that back. In the meantime? I’m praying a lot, and I’m going to many more meetings than usual. It’s really all I can do. Well, I could break up with JS, but in my mind that’s just running away. Life isn’t always easy, and if I run away any time things don’t go away, I’ll be a very lonely person. And I don’t want that. Thus, the growing pains.