Having spent the night in the hospital with J., I’m a bit groggy, though it has been convenient for getting used to typing on my new Dell Mini 9, the keyboard of which takes some adjustment time. I know that as a patient it’s quite annoying not to be able to sleep because nurses are coming in every 20 minutes for vitals and such — and, really, why is it that they cannot coordinate things so that they all come in at once? and waking J. up at 4:30am for a sponge bath and changing his gown? could they not wait until, oh, 7am? but I digress… as a visitor it’s even more annoying, since you don’t have any pain medication to get you back to sleep in a jiffy.
So, then, I’m sleepy. Which means I may fall asleep during my accidental date this evening. Still, I remain grateful to be here for J. — if for no other reason than it’s the first time in my life, really, that I’ve been able to be present for someone for completely unselfish reasons. [Also, I am glad that J. is recovering wonderfully and is coming out of his anesthesia-induced haze quite well. He should be up and walking sometime tomorrow.] It also does not escape me that this is the first time that anyone — much less an entire group of someone’s family and friends! — has consistently used words such as “kind,” “generous,” and “wonderful” to describe what it is that I’m doing. Life? Is pretty amazing sometimes, especially when we surprise ourselves by doing things we never would have done before.