old (2008), Uncategorized

the status of "things"

  • Today, I bought J. a book that he saw in the window at Ecleticity. It was $30, and I’m saving it for either his birthday (11/9) or his sobriety date (11/2). Either way, it felt good to buy him a surprise gift.
  • I mentioned that Rebel is going to play the court jester in the school play (set in medieval times), saying I was going to rent a car to see it. But J. said, “No need. We can go together, because I wouldn’t miss it.” Since I wasn’t even going there in my mind, I was pleasantly surprised.
  • One of The Goofball’s roommates asked me out on a date tonight (“What do you say to dinner and a meeting sometime this week?”), making this the second guy who lives in that recovery house who’s gotten the hots for me. Of course, J. overheard, and on our way home he said, “Feel free to tell him I’ll kick his ass if he doesn’t stop asking.”
  • Given our good-bye tonight, I do believe he’s at the jumping-off point. And I was a bit startled — though not surprised — that I’m there, too.
  • It occurs to me: falling love isn’t scary when it’s done in a healthy way. This has to be the first time EVER I’ve been interested in someone, letting myself fall down the rabbit hole, and not afraid of getting hurt, abandoned, or otherwise mistreated. And you know what? It feels spectacular. Namaste.

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