Uncle Eddie: So who’s this crush you keep mentioning?
Me: It’s not completely obvious by my silly behavior?
UE: Oh, just tell me.
Me: I’d like it more if you guessed.
UE: Is he over 50, quite tan, and in remarkable shape for his age?
Me: See, I knew it was obvious. What should I do?
UE: Lay a big kiss on him at the cruise tomorrow night.
Me: Uh, not gonna happen.
UE: He might be shy. Or afraid of the age difference. Do something.
Me: You mean sitting around wondering if he likes me isn’t going to send telepathic messages his way that will magically move him to fall madly in love with me?
UH: Uh, no.