(1) I have a Morton’s neuroma on both feet. This is a nerve that under normal circumstances is — at most — 2mm wide. Being an overachiever in all things (including, apparently, biological things over which I have absolutely no control), the nerve is 6mm wide in my right foot and 8mm wide in my left. The remedy? (a) Cortisone shots and (b) cutting the deep transverse metatarsal ligament in each foot, thereby giving the nerve a little room to, uh, breathe (?) Should this not work, I will have a second surgery to remove those nerves altogether. What I want to know, though, is why I keep getting benign tumors (or things called benign tumors)?
(2) For as long as I can remember, I’ve had hammertoes on the fourth toe of each foot, and it’s only recently I’ve been bothered by this so much to want to get them taken care of. Well, I’m now going to have a phalangeal head resection (aka arthroplasty), which — as I understand it — is basically cutting the tendons for those toes and removing part of the bone (to make my toes shorter).
(3) The second toe on my right foot has a tendon that’s too tight and causing that toe to creep up against my big toe, which is rather painful, and so that tendon is getting snipped, too.
So, then, surgery is scheduled for April 8th, at which point at least my feet will be a little less tense, with all those tendons snipped and all. Sax Man is driving me to and from the surgicenter, and — based on notations on his Google calendar — I suspect I’m in for a day off of my feet (duh!) filled with pampering. Meanwhile, I am choosing to completely ignore Slavegirl’s comment about how perhaps this means I need to retire my stiletto collection…