old (2008), Uncategorized

tag… i’m it

Russian Mafia Babe tagged me for this blog meme, so I’m venturing forth to fulfill my duty.

The rules: Link to the person who tagged you. Post the rules on your blog. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs. Leave a comment on their blog so that their readers can visit yours.

So, then, seven random and/or weird facts about me…

  1. I abscond with miniature-sized things whenever possible. For example, I have a two-inch-tall bottle of Tabasco sauce as well as various shrunken versions of other condiments.
  2. When I eat food, I get squirrelly if I can’t begin and end chewing on the left side of my mouth, alternating each bite. If I am eating M&Ms or Reese’s Pieces, this extends to sorting out the colors and leaving matching pairs until the end.
  3. Until this past weekend, I had neither owned nor ever used a vibrator.
  4. When I got married, I had the biggest frilliest beady-est gown, which astonished 100% of people around the world, most of all my family, since I simultaneously refused to pay $10 to get my eyebrows waxed before the wedding. Even more than I’m horrified at my unkempt Italian brows in the wedding photos, what possessed me to choose a dress that had a bustle? Was I completely unaware of the preexisting size of my ass? Did I just not care? Can this be excused by the fact that I was married to my first husband, twenty-three, and, uh, pregnant when I picked it out?
  5. I’ve only shaved my legs once since September 20, which is as effective in my efforts to remain celibate until October 1 as wearing a chastity belt and losing the key. Other than being slightly embarrassed at my hairy ankles sticking out from my yoga pants when I answer the door for the guy bringing me Thai food from Delivery.com and the UPS man bringing me my Sephora.com orders, it’s not a big deal. This is why god (or, uh, fashion designers) invented 80 Denier black tights.
  6. When I was nineteen, I went home with an Adonis-like guy I met at a bar in Stone Park (okay, no snickers…he was really hot…) and snuck out while he was in the bathroom and told me to wait in the kitchen, where I found stacks and stacks and stacks of old-lady and pregnant-women porn on the table.
  7. I didn’t have a single female friend (well, except for co-workers) who didn’t try to sleep with one of my boyfriends or husbands until I was twenty-seven years old. Life is so much better now that I’ve been surrounding myself with trustworthy people who know the meaning of words such as trust, fidelity, honor, friendship, decency, and boundaries.

And with the power vested in me by the blogosphere, I now tag the following bloggers:

  1. Anima Sola
  2. Sarcastic Mom
  3. Rachel
  4. The Journey Mama
  5. Redhairedgirl
  6. Schmutzie
  7. Groove Mama

Have fun, ladies!

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