old (2008), Uncategorized

festering thoughts

1. While I am 100% flattered that 99% of the people I meet lately think I’m in my 20s, I’m tired of hearing about it, especially when I have to put on my reading glasses to read the running time for disc one in the Planet Earth DVD set. I am sure one of my lovely friends will remind me of this wholly insane and unjustified annoyance when we are 89 and living in a commune slash nursing home staffed by roller derby nurses.

2. One of the best things about being single (though not THE best, by far) is being able to eat a dinner that consists of kiln-baked bread, red pepper soup with oyster crackers, and baked apple pie at 11:54pm while watching The Fountain in my pink bathrobe and slipper socks.

3. I want to officially go on record and say that, as a group, my exes are some of the craziest and most baffling people inhabiting this planet. I don’t know if a full moon is coming or they’ve all gotten together to see who can engage in the weirdest behavior, but the past 48 hours have been strange. Guys, if you’re reading this, stop. Please. Thank you.

4. School starts on Monday, marking the beginning of the biggest Mulligan of my lifetime. Let’s see if I can refrain from getting pregnant, finding myself surrounded by potsmokers, getting drunk, or otherwise fucking up my chances of passing my comprehensive exams THIS time around, k?

5. I’m still laughing about B.’s reaction to my lip piercing. He was upset and already crying and then he looked at my face and shrieked, WHAT IS ON YOUR LIP?!?! while visibly recoiling. It’s the sort of reaction I would have received from my mother had I done this when I was 14, and I find it quite hilarious that my five-year-old son is channeling my mom, who was the age I am now when I was 14.

6. There’s this guy from the meetings that I can’t stop thinking about, which A. says is normal because, duh!, I have a crush. Is it terrible that I’m considering rearranging my entire meeting schedule just so I can make it to the ones he goes to? And yes, I know the answer to that question without having to even think about calling my sponsor…


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