old (2007), Uncategorized

twelve-month review

This is a meme, according to which I am to list the first sentence of the first post of each month for the past year. (More year-end surveys to follow in the days to come…)

January: “Strep throat threw a monkey wrench into last week, but I’m now fully recovered and have been so since New Year’s Eve, when I went to Lincoln Square Lanes with Mehgun and her new beau (and a guy from school who was stoned).”

February: “The universe is out of sorts when I spend my evening consoling men in ways that don’t at least garner a PG-13 rating.”

March: “If you haven’t heard Shawn Colvin’s version of Gnarls Barkley‘s Crazy on the Prairie Home Companion yet, you should check it out.”

April: “After watching A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints on Friday, I was hoping Sherrybaby would offer a more chipper view of the world.”

May: “I’m sure most of you have heard the story in the news: a couple was sentenced to life in prison after they starved their baby to death.”

June: “tiptoeing through the used condoms/strewn on the piers/off the west side highway/sunset behind/the skyline of jersey/walking towards the water/with a fetus holding court in my gut…”

July: “I am beginning to realize that while I am rather bitter and sarcastic by Midwestern standards, I am positively beaming with optimism in New York.”

August: “Seventeen years I’ve lived in this city by the lake, and it’s a Monday afternoon whim that takes me to the beach for the first time, carrying towels, trying to remember how to walk on ground that shifts with each step.”

September: “The summer is ending, but the shift feels like more than just the weather.”

October: “In a wood-paneled room, with a jazz piano soundtrack and the familiar smell of cigars amid a haze of cigarette smoke, with bottles of Stella in her line of sight, with a hum of a microphone, with maraschino cherries bobbing to the surface in a row of Shirley Temples, with an empty stage in front of her, the woman who isn’t drinking knows that the man smoking a cigar and nursing whiskey at the bar is the one she’d most definitely go after if she were.”

November: “I am in extraordinary pain.”

December: “My patience was tested yesterday.”