1. Leave it to my therapist to point out my exact problems, which — as it turns out — have very little to do with what I thought my issues were when I woke up this morning. My favorite analogy today: if someone with a fear of elevators always gets off when the panicking starts, s/he will never learn that the anxiety is manageable if s/he just has the wherewithal to stick it out. I now have orders to stay on my life’s version of “the elevator” and start learning how to (a) have fun and (b) let people in. [Once again: anyone have any Xanax?]
2. I’ve decided my first visit to Europe should be sans kiddos, a proclamation W. seems to appreciate. I believe the exact way he phrased it was, You can get all the boring stuff out of the way so when we go together we can actually have some fun. Of course, No. 1 on his agenda is walking up the Eiffel Tower. We both agreed that if we’re going to go to the Eiffel Tower, we might as well go to the Eiffel Tower. Personally, I’m a bit more excited about visiting the Louvre, but I suppose I can understand how a tween boy’s idea of fun is a bit more expansive than trolling an art museum. As long as it’s not a recreation of National Lampoon’s European Vacation, I believe I’ll manage. In the meantime, expect a Solo Vegan Mama Tour of Europe in mid-2008. Yay!
3. Have I mentioned how much I like The Perfect Veg*n Guy, who has assured me that breaking up with someone because she has a messy closet would, indeed, be kind of dumb? Still, I feel as though I should invest in some sort of organizational system, which would probably remain uninstalled and unused for, oh, forever while I pretended to want to become a more organized person. Which isn’t really a lie… it’s just that it’s so much more fun to go to plays and movies and walk around the city and hang out with the kiddos and go on scavenger hunts and throw parties and bake cookies and, uh, blog that it is to color-code my underwear drawer. I suppose what I’m trying to say is (a) I’m willing to pay the price of a messy house for an active life and (b) I really do like The Perfect Veg*n Guy.
4. Collectively, as a group, my exes really irritate me. It’s odd that R., with whom there was so much conflict during the divorce, is now the best of the bunch. Probably because he’s the least confrontational. And, oh, I suppose it being eight years since we’ve been together doesn’t hurt. I hope this doesn’t mean I have to wait until 2013 for A. to stop being an ass.
5. My house is once again a complete mess, and I don’t even care. I’ve decided I’m only working 20 hours a week at work for the next few weeks, and I’m just damn well going to have some fun. And W. doesn’t have school on Friday, so we’re having a Field Trip Day down to Daley Plaza (for Christkindlmarket) then Millennium Park (for ice skating) and AMC River East for The Golden Compass. And later that night I’m seeing Good Boys and True at the Steppenwolf with A., so the day is going to be filled with Fun Things. Which is totally better for my psyche than putting away my laundry.
6. The danger of allowing kids to swear in the car and at home (when no one other than family is around) is the very real chance that you’ll be walking down Lincoln Avenue with your ten-year-old when he says, It is fucking cold outside! Of course, the right thing to say is probably not, What the fuck did you say? Especially when there is a very sweet 90-year-old woman observing the whole thing.
7. It’s bath time. Or nap time. Or nap-then-bath time… Namaste.