old (2007), Uncategorized

degeneration…

I am in extraordinary pain. I cannot get up off the couch. I cannot stand upright. I cannot walk. I cannot type without spasms of pain shooting throughout my back and down my left leg and up to my left arm. I’ve broken down and cried twice in the past two hours because of the intensity of the pain. It hurts so much, I am nauseated and quite nearly feverish. Ibuprofen isn’t working. Prescription-strength Aleve isn’t working. A hot bath didn’t help (and I almost accidentally killed myself trying to climb out). Ice didn’t help (and I wasted $19 at Walgreens for an ice pack). The only things left: killing myself on purpose or taking one of the two Vicodin I have left from when they were prescribed in March for “breakthrough back pain.” Instead, I’m evading the issue and going to bed, hoping that sleep and rest will help enough that I will be able to walk in the morning.
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