old (2007), Uncategorized

tuesday, part two

Tonight: Canceled group therapy. Went grocery shopping, did the dishes, goofed off with the boys, chatted with V., made soy cheese bagel pizzas, watched The Unit, talked with A. about it a bit after, watched SVU, walked to The Grind, chatted with R. about her show Sunday (and told her I put her song up on this blog), ordered a hazelnut latte, walked half-way to Laurie’s before deciding I didn’t want to go, walked home instead, stopping for a bit before the rock shop to peek at their calendar, got home, made tentative plans to stay with D. when I visit NYC, checked out airfare. Now: running a bath, drinking Pellegrino, feeling happy.

What I didn’t do: see Metric, because upon further examination of my motives, I didn’t want to go; I wanted to prove I was strong enough to go without D., but who am I kidding? I already know I’m strong enough. So I sold the tickets on Craigslist to a kid from Evanston whose girlfriend wanted to see the band.

Et cetera: I am following the breakup ground rules (which seemed silly a week ago, but not so much now) and the three don’ts (though, honestly, I’m not tempted to ‘do’ any of the ‘don’ts’). I am acting in positive ways borne out of my own needs, feelings, and boundaries, and not in reaction or anticipation of anything anyone else — least of all, D. — does. And I am, in ten minutes, going to take a bath. Good night.