old (2007), Uncategorized

short end of the wit

I can’t say breaking down and sobbing at the doctor’s office was one of my finer moments, but I suppose it was inevitable. After waiting four hours for a nurse to call me back about my Headache Questions yesterday, I was told NOT to go to the ER but, instead, to see the doctor today. And I get to the doctor today and not only did they refuse to accept the auto insurance as payment for my visit — no, I have to file that claim myself — but they then all but refused to see me, saying that I needed a CT scan and the nurse yesterday should have just told me to go to the ER after all. I started crying, and then I just walked out, back to the parking garage, out onto Maxwell Street, all the way home, still crying, stopping only to call A. to calm my nerves.

It was all too much to take — this headache I’ve had for the better part of a week, the car accident, emotional stress… I just want to put a stop to all of this. I’m tired of shitty things happening, and I am tired of dealing with people who are more concerned about bureaucracy than helping me. I’m tired of working really fucking hard to be responsible and it doesn’t even matter. I’m in so much pain and I feel like I’m the ping-pong ball in a game of table tennis.