Random Woman: Are you two getting married?
Me: No, he’s my brother.
RW: Are you from here?
RW: Are you sure? You don’t sound like you’re from here.
Me: Well, I wasn’t born in this bar.
Me: We grew up in the suburbs.
RW: I don’t believe you.
Me: I don’t guess you have to.
RW: So, then, are you like Jack and Kelly Osborne?
RW: You know, you’re the crazy sister with tattoos and piercings and funny hair and your brother is the normal one.
Me: You do realize you’re the one who looks like a troll who was molested by the Phillies fan club, right?
RW: Uh, yeah. I’m going to talk to your brother. He seems nicer.
Me: You’re exactly right.